A New Journey Begins!
At one point this moment seemed very far off. Like an unattainable dream, that would never come true. However, it has finally arrived. It is time to say goodbye and surrender all things thirty, yes all three plus decades are fading into thin air. I am at a new place now. The real grown, if the last twenty-nine years have not been a testament to what it means to be grown, then this is it, I'm for real of age. I am forty. Though I will admit that saying it doesn't make it seem any more real, it still seems like this isn't happening, but it is.
As a child, I don’t know what I thought about forty, most likely nothing because I was too busying playing wanting to be a child because I knew then that those were the years to relish. I was not a child that longed to be grown. I was a child that wanted to remain five, yes five because five was the divine age where you know enough, but no one expected anything of you, but to play. However, I am welcoming forty with delight. Although, if you ask me I will still say that I love the age of five, but I have embraced that it is long gone. Yet, I would be remissed if I didn’t acknowledge that I still desire to play all day without responsibility. I had to embrace the change that carried me year by year to this moment. There have been graduations, heartbreaks, endings and welcomed beginnings. Good or bad I have survived.
As with all things, I have faith in the unknown that I am prepared for this. I believe the last thirty-nine years have been my foundation and I have good stuff to stand on. At thirty, I knew that I was going to be ok, but I had no idea that I was about to embark on the journey of a lifetime. It began a little rocky, but soon doors began to open and the magic was activated. I didn’t realize all the super powers I had, but I have discovered, I have super powers. Yes, I realized that I am POWERFUL, and that is the one thing I will take with me from my thirties. It was in my thirties that I really realized that no matter what I am powerful and the divine is covering me. In the last ten years, I have been challenged in ways I never thought and yet I still must pinch myself because every moment has been real. It all happened and I lived to tell the story.
Again, forty is a little foreign to me, but I’m down for a little extra alien action. A new country to discover (well at least visit because I am sure someone has been there before me), a challenge, maybe even a baby…I said it, it’s not too late. I imagine there will be some new love affair, but this time, I may agree that this one is worth the compromise or it at least has more desirables than non-negotiables. I can’t settle, I won’t settle, and I believe that I can have exactly what I desire. But maybe what once were non-negotiables won’t matter, and love will conquer the desire to be free. Maybe just maybe love will understand that I can't be caged. Maybe forty will help me be free and find balance. I hope so, but if it doesn’t, I will enjoy the ride. Embrace the change. Experience the experience and love life as I create it.
Hello, forty I am here and we have one decade to discover just what works and what doesn’t work. Ten whole years to evaluate where we're going and get there. Ten years before we have to say goodbye. And guess what? I have decided I am not looking for an exit strategy. I just want you to know I am dedicated. I will commit the next decade to listening, learning, and letting each year, month, day or moment teach me more about who and what I have been called to do in life. As I surrender my thirties, I promise not to look back and compare. The thirties are a thing of the past and looking back will not propel me forward. I agree only to move forward trusting that I have been prepared for this occasion as I have been prepared for the past thirty-nine. Goodbye thirties I am advancing on and clearing a path for more knowledge, skills, and experiences.
P.S. Thank you for loving me, protecting me, and allowing me to arrive at this moment whole and
ready for something new. I will cherish everything that you taught me.
Love,
Cha
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